Leader Guide: Fall Week 4


For the week of October 7, 2018
This guide is designed to give helpful hints in preparing & leading your group in discussion.

These notes are designed to be a resource as you lead your Life Group each week.

Things to Remember:

  • Drinks when people arrive
  • Nametags

Goals for the Evening:

  • Continue to build relationships
  • Pray together
  • Finalize plans for your social
  • Talk about service project options


This is a great opportunity for the guys in your Life Group to get connected. Getting away for an entire weekend together facilitates connections that typically take months to realize. See the end of this guide for more details.


Make sure you attend the Mid Quarter Training session for Leaders and Hosts.

Vista Campus Station-in-Life Dates:

Arise – Oct. 25
Empty Nest – Oct. 28, 3 & 4
General – Oct. 21 & 27
Military – Oct. 21
Parents of Kids, K-6 – Oct. 28

Parents of Teens – Oct. 28, 3 & 4
Senior Adults – TBA
Singles – Oct. 20
Spanish Speaking – Oct. 27

Special Studies – Oct. 28, 3 & 4
Targeted – Oct. 28, 3 & 4
Young Families – Nov. 3 & 4
Young Marrieds – Nov. 3 & 4

Submit your group’s attendance online through the Leader Toolbox here: members.northcoastchurch.com. If you’re not sure how to post attendance, click here for step-by-step instructions. Use the Leader’s comment box to share with us the most significant events of your Life Group meetings.  You can also list any changes made in your group.

DISCUSSION REMINDER: Remember, every night you want to hear from everyone in your group. Think through how you’re going to ask questions so this happens. Ask various individuals what they think, go around the circle, set time limits on answers so you have time to hear from everyone.

Looking back at your notes from this week’s teaching, was there anything you heard for the first time or that caught your attention, challenged or confused you?

This is always a good question to ask as it allows people to address thoughts and questions that aren’t addressed in the homework. Sometimes your group may spend a lot of time here, while other times the answers will be brief.

  • This weekend we heard about the “second chance” story of Onesimus coming back to his hometown and church! Do you have any personal examples of a positive second chance story from your own life? If so, explain.
    Not everyone will have an answer to this question.
  • When it comes to accepting others, we need to use good judgment and be careful of falling into one of two extremes – blind acceptance or critical judgement. Which one are you more likely to move towards? Have you seen your tendency change over time?
    Good question to have everyone answer.
  • Agree / Disagree: Our acceptance of someone directly relates to how much we value them?
    This question segues into the next section.

Discussion Reminder: If you are hearing from everyone in your group, chances are you won’t have time to discuss every question. You may start with one that catches your attention so you don’t run out of time. For example, it’s not odd to start with #2, then go to #1 if you have time.

Understanding who we are in God’s eyes and his love and acceptance of us, is foundational to understanding how to love and accept others. As you read each verse below, jot down what it says about God’s love and acceptance and then number each passage from one to seven in the order most meaningful to you.

Discussion Idea: There are variety of ways you can have you group respond to this question. You can read each verse, and have people share their ratings. You could also have everyone share their #1’s (followed by #2, #3 etc) and why they rated it that way. Or you can have everyone share their ratings and survey which verses are at the top in your group, and then have everyone share their top two verses.

Romans 5:8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
God loved us in our sin.

Romans 3:23 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
This verse alone does not show our value, but actually highlights a problem. It shows our need for a savior.

Matthew 10:29-31 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Our God knows everything about us.

John 3:1616 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Our God loves us so much, he gave us his son so we could have life.

Genesis 1:27 27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
We are created in God’s image.

Psalm 139:13-14 13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
God was intricately involved in creating me even when I was in my mother’s womb.

1 Peter 2:9But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
As a child of God I am chosen.

Think of a person you have a hard time accepting (don’t write down or say their name!). Would it make any difference if you applied these verses to them? If so, explain.
There could be a variety of responses. 1 Peter will only apply to Christians while the other verses place worth on all human beings. The fact that we are all created in God’s image places value on all humanity. It’s important that this does not get into a criticizing or gossip session. 

Additional Questions / Verses: How might we confuse acceptance with trust? What motivation do these verses add to our acceptance of others?

Romans 12:14-2114 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay  says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Matthew 5:38-47 38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[b] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Note: Go the extra mile, love your enemies.

Additional Verses on Forgiveness: Matthew 18: 21-22, Colossians 3: 12-13

One issue that can cause our lack of acceptance is that we confuse acceptance or value/worth of a person with trust. We can forgive someone, and recognize their worth because they are created in God’s image, but there may be unwillingness for someone to reconcile, or more time that needs to pass to build trust of character. So, acceptance does not necessarily result in trust. Trust takes time and verification of trusted character. Also, they may not be trustworthy. 

1. Followers of Jesus are called to live out God’s purpose and plan to reach others for him. What is your response? (Check all that apply).

 YES!
 NO!
 Nervous
 Not sure what that means?
 Other
Good question to have everyone answer.

2. As we heard this week, sharing our faith should be a natural outflow of our commitment to Jesus. The passages below help us bring some clarity to what this can look like. As you read each passage, jot down everything each verse says about reaching and impacting others for Jesus.

1 Corinthians 9:19-2319 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
Additional Question: What are some examples of becoming “all things to all people?”

Colossians 4:2-6Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

John 13:34-3534 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Additional Question: How would you rate your integrity, character, love meter at work, at home, with your co-workers and with your friends?

As you look back at what you wrote, choose a symbol from below to indicate your reaction to the verses above.
Good question to have everyone answer. If you’re limited on time but still want to answer this question divide into smaller groups, or men-only/women-only and close your time together that way.

!    =  On it and don’t want to forget it
*   =  That sounds challenging
?   =  Not sure what that means

If you haven’t divided into men-only/women-only groups yet, this would be a good week to do that. Give plenty of time to take prayer requests and pray.

Looking back at this week’s teaching, what is most important for you to remember when it comes to living out God’s purpose and plan in your life?

Prayer Suggestion: If your group is used to praying together you could use Colossians 4:2-6 as a prayer guide. You also may want to ask if there is anyone specific that your group should pray for to reach for Jesus.

Colossians 4:2-6Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Community Service Impact

Community Service is a ministry of North Coast Church dedicated to being the hands and feet of Jesus and showing God’s love in tangible ways through service to the community. There are many options for you to serve. For ideas, check out NorthCoastCommunityService.org

REAL MAN WEEKEND – “The Palomar Experience”- Oct. 26-28

Lookin’ for some crazy guy stuff to do? Want to kick back or get refocused on God? Join us for another epic men’s weekend that will get you recharged and refreshed as our speakers lead us into a look at what a real man is and isn’t! The weekend will also include plenty of “man” event options like paintball, high ropes course, skeet shooting, archery, zipline, horseback riding, etc. Space is limited so don’t delay!
Register online at northcoastchurch.com/real-man-weekend